he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
