I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
