I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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