similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
