I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize