It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
