you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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