I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
