I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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