The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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