my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This house was built for laser tag.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize