This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize