Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
