dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize