I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
