I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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