i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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