At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
