She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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