i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
