After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
