If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We are all done wearing pants today
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
