Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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