i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
