I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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