I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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