yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All I want is dick and wine.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
