I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
