Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude i'm inner monologue high
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
