Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
