The maid of honor just puked.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
