# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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