no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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