its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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