dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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