Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
