Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
