literally had 100 drinks last night.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
