She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize