Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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