anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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