No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize