She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
