Your dad touched me again.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
