Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
