I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
