Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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