false alarm. still invincible.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
