I think I just saw someone hide a body.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize