yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
