so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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