we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
