worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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