I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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