If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
