you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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