In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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