drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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