I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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