We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize