you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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