This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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