ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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