I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize