We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize