My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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