I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just google imaged poop.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So apparently I’m into choking now
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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