For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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